birth story!

I wanted to share the birth story so that I don't forget it because it already feels like she has been here forever.  It all started with a routine midnight trip to the bathroom and before I knew it, my little muffin was in my arms 13 days early!  At that point in my pregnancy, let's be honest.  I wasn't sleeping great and I was getting up to use the bathroom 3-4 times a night.  Around 1:30am I definitely sighed, rolled out of bed with an annoyed attitude and stumbled in the dark to the bathroom.  As I was sitting there I definitely felt my water break and realized that it was happening.  I sat on the toilet for a few minutes soaking in the moment and trying to grasp the fact that this was already happening. I stopped and prayed that the Lord would keep me calm and would calm my already growing anxiety.  I have learned so many times that His plan is better than mine, I just had to surrender "my plan" of working until the 20th and rest in the fact that He was in control. After I had collected my thoughts, I reached up, turned on the light and yelled to the Mr. that I thought my water had broken.  He shot up out of bed, looked at me and said "I'm going to go lay back down and google that."  I quickly laughed and said no need to "google that" I know that my water broke and we need to get your bag packed!!

I had most of my stuff together but didn't technically have my "bag packed".  I walked around in circles like I so typically do, trying to do like 1,000 things and not finishing a single one of them.  I finally got my bag packed, the Mr. called the doctor and I had to sit down because the contractions had started.  The doc said to take our time but to make our way to the hospital.  We arrived to the hospital around 3am and got checked into the triage area.  The triage area was not exactly what I thought it would be, ha.  I guess when you don't know what to expect, you think about movies you have seen, right?  The labor and delivery floor was dead quiet and I was directed to the triage room where I had to change into that lovely gown and climb into that uncomfortable bed.  It felt like everyone's attitude was so nonchalant and I wanted to scream "do you not see that I am in pain and about to have this baby??"  After I was checked and it was indeed confirmed that my water had broken, they admitted me.  I do remember that I threw up in the triage room and I was so uncontrollably cold.  I was so cold that I was shaking.

 

I got moved to the l&d room around 4am and the contractions had definitely gotten bad quick.  The l&d room was much better (or as good as it could be) and my nurse was very confident but calming, which was definitely what I needed.  I was having trouble with finding my breathing rhythm and was tensing up every time my contractions came.  I started to figure out how to breathe and requested an epidural.  I never really had the mentality that I was going to do it without meds but had I known how quick I was going to progress, I might have tried.  I was about 3-4 cm dilated and my contractions were about every 3 mins or so.  I wasn't sure how to exactly "rate my pain" because as I looked at the contraction print out and realized that my little contractions weren't quite the mountains that they felt like, I knew things were going to get a lot worse.  Hence the epidural.  The administration of the epidural completely freaked me out.  I wish I had never heard how they do it honestly.  I will say that it wasn't as bad as I had pictured, however it was pretty tough to stay still when I was having contractions.  After the epidural started to kick in around 6am, I finally warmed up and started to feel nice and cozy.  I was around 5cm dilated and figured my labor would slow down and I was going to take a nap, ha.  I was able to rest for a little while.

After about an hour I noticed that the epidural was wearing off on my right side and that the pain was intense.  They made me switch sides but nothing really helped.  They suggested we call anesthesia to adjust my epidural but once they checked me and I was 8 cm, they said it was too late and that I was going to have this baby soon.  I still don't think that I had wrapped my brain around how quickly everything was happening.  By this point it was around 7:30am and I was frantically praying that I would have the baby after 8am so the shift change of doctors would happen.  Around 8am the nurse said that we would be pushing soon and I remember thinking, there is no way.  She has to be wrong.  I have to be in labor for days, right?  This is my first baby and it doesn't happen this fast.  But much to my dismay the doctor shift change happened (yeah!) and my legs were up in the stirrups before I knew it.  I pushed for about 50 mins and I have to say that the Mr. was amazing.  He was so supportive throughout the whole process but especially when I was pushing.  I was so focused but I could hear his words of encouragement and they definitely helped!  At 8:50am my sweet muffin was born!  All 6lbs 2 oz. and 19 inches of her.  The best moment was hearing her cry and realizing that she was real and that this baby that I had grown and prayed for the last 9 months was here.  Such a sweet moment.  I don't think that I can describe the feeling of holding her in my arms. After such a rough year of loss and struggle, it was such a moment of joy. Like nothing I have experienced before. I remember thinking Lord, this is such a blessing and I can not believe you have entrusted me to raise and love her!  So many moments of praying for her in her soon to be nursery and now she was here! Bliss. 

Here is a little picture of the babe right before we went home.  I laugh because I fretted over her going home outfit, which I had specially monogrammed for her and it was way too big.  So, she wore what fit her which I was thankful to have with us.